Steelhead Extra Stout

Steelhead Extra Stout
Mad River Brewing Co.
Blue Lake, California

I have the feeling that I've tried this one before but since it was a single on the wall for $2 I couldn't pass it up. If this stout is a fish then it's surely not a steelhead it's a goddamn whale! Chock full of everything that makes a traditional hearty stout with a head like a mushroom cloud. All cliches. Oh well. It's like saying every woman is hot and then coming upon the most beautiful woman in the world. Well, she's hot too. Too hot for words. This is too stout for words. 10 pounds of stout. A big barrel full of stout. A stouty ocean of taste. Oh my Stout. Yeah, it's that good.

-Wörtwurst

Horn Dog Barley Wine Style Ale

Horn Dog Barley Wine Style Ale
Flying Dog Brewery
Denver, Colorado

I'm one of those who find Hunter S. Thompson not only unfunny but also a self-absorbed bore as well. Which is not really a surprise since I feel this way about just about every human who has ever lived. But this isn't about him even though a quote by him and his spirit seem to be inspirations for the Flying Dog brand. I'm not keen on FD's bottle art either and thus I always expect that their beer is going to taste like ass juice. Horn Dog is hardly that. It's a nice Barley Wine with a heavy alcohol influx. This doesn't really overshadow the flavor yet it certainly reminds you with a boozy spine that it's tipping 10.2%. The chocolate and licorice hints are minimal whereas the toasted grain, caramel and raisin affects are quite prominent and sufficient to allow for this to be called a "winter warmer" even if it's being drunk in the good old summertime. A very reasonable example of the style.

-Wörtwurst

Cerise

Cerise
Founders Brewing Co.
Grand Rapids, Michigan

"Brave Clarice. You will let me know when those lambs stop screaming, won't you?" - Hannibal Lecter

"Mmmm...Cerise." -- T. Wörtwurst

Well the lambs ain't crying for me but the cherries certainly are -- in the raspberry's stead -- as they lay butchered, castrated, mashed and juiced for brewing. Founders' Ruebeus was replaced as a seasonal when the price of its raspberry puree skyrocketed. Seeing as cherries are a Michigan staple it gave them a good excuse to go all local with our asses. Well, Clarice, err...Cerise, I ain't buying into it. Not to say that the beer isn't good because it certainly is but hometown pride isn't the reason. Whereas other cherry ales tend to be overly sweet this one is more well-balanced and mitigates between sweet and sour at reasonably high levels. They say that the extract is added at five different points of the brewing process to distribute the exacting flavors to all areas of concentration instead of having a mere blast of castrating sweetness that paralyzes your tongue or whatever extremity you choose to imbibe from. Well, that extra work is going to cost you in price. As with all Founders stock this one has a higher than average price tag. This shouldn't stop you from trying it. You might just want to stop at a good beer store that allows for single takings and dance a little with the beast before you put a ring on it.

-Wörtwurst

Ghettoblaster

Ghettoblaster
Motor City Brewing Works
Detroit, Michigan

I usually put off trying beer from Detroit simply because most people in Detroit either love everything coming out of the city or equally hate everything. So you can never know if something is truly good or bad from a local standpoint. Plus, remember, many people swear by Bud, Miller and other assorted macros as the be-all end-all in beer so we all know that niggaz is cwazeee. But seeing as I generally am insousiant to most aspects of life and beer I open up the armor occasionally and let some local grain juice into my steaming gullet. Well...this stuff is pretty good! I mean, I don't know that I've ever had a beer which is self-classified as English Style Mild Ale but this is a pretty good example of it. Light hops, a solid wheat and malt backbone with hints of nutty, caramelly goodness. I'm not sure why MCBW decided to call it Ghettoblaster when Hugh Grant's Frothy Whore was still available on the trademark tote board.

-Wörtwurst

Horny Goat Exposed Farmhouse Ale

Horny Goat Exposed Farmhouse Ale
Horny Goat Brewing Co.
Steven Point, Wisconsin

I don't drink often and especially not the few days leading up to my weekends with my baby girl. I also find that I am unable to come down from the weekend high of this special little person so much so that beer doesn't even plink the stream of my consciousness and I rarely have the urge to taste and blog about it. I would show you a picture of my clone but what kind of cretin puts his baby on a beer blog?!?! Not that I want to segue from her to horny goats but that's what we have here in a bottle. Supposedly this horndog is exposed and furthermore it's a farmhouse ale! Haha. Sure it is. I was so convinced that this beer wasn't a true saison/farmerhouser that I poured it right into a pint glass and prepared myself to drink a pale ale. Well, that's what it is. Nothing of the complex yeast, candied sugar sweetness or slight sting of herbal hops as you might expect from the style. If this is a farmhouse ale then Bam Biere by Jolly Pumpkin is the tears of the Gods. Bam is great but it's not that great. This Goat Beer doesn't even approach very good.

-Wörtwurst

Dogfish Head Festina Peche

Dogfish Head Festina Peche
Dogfish Head Craft Brewery
Milton, Delaware

Hey, I'm all about breaking the mold and venturing off into weird and crazy tangents. For instance, I believe the rumor that Barbara Bush is indeed the daughter of Aleister Crowley. Which isn't an odd postulate considering that the powers that be are all shape-shifting reptilian white martians. What I can't get into is ridiculousness. Which quite frankly this beer is. I mean, I like it well enough, but it's a malt punch. Sour, peachy and flat as formica. Tasty, sure. But where others see a perfect accompaniment with grilled chicken or feta (who are these fop reviewers on BA?) and the perfect sipper on a hot summer day, I find it closer related to a misfiring date rape potion than a fine malt beverage.

-Wörtwurst

Bell's Sparkling Ale

Bell's Sparkling Ale
Bell's Brewery
Kalamazoo, Michigan

If you like the ideal of Bell's Oberon but not the spermatozoic hop stunterosis (despite the yeast fish food parade dancing inside the fluid [see picture]) within that said beer then you may prefer this one. The connotations of sparkling anything within the alcoholic oeuvre usually brings a pucker to the collective lips and brains of the partaker. This is coming from the idiot who didn't read the bottle and is only finding out now that this is a tripel! Haha. Ah- well. I did think that it tasted a bit Belgian (in my PINT GLASS) but attributed that to it being on the discount shelf. Well then...it's sweet in a biting citrus way though not in a pungent cum swapping potentate smash your head open with a rock if you don't listen to the beer intelligentsia manner. There's also the obligatory bread but a moist yeasty bread which is almost cake for your wide open and accepting tongue, teeth and uvula. Chew on the chunkiness and thank Gawd that you're writing about a beer and not a woman.

-Wörtwurst

Cleveland Bar Celebrates 35th Anniversary of Ten Cent Beer Night with Ten Cent Beer

by Vince Grzegorek

35 years ago today, on June 4, 1974, one of the most infamous events in sports history occurred at Cleveland Municipal Stadium when the Indians held ten cent beer night, and predictably, all hell occurred.

Today, Now That's Class (11213 Detroit Ave.), will be celebrating the 35th anniversary of the infamous drunken evening with a ten cent beer night of its own. Stroh's draft only, which is fine, because Stroh's rocks. Free show at 9 p.m. There's no way this ends badly. There's no way this ends in any similar fashion to the evening of June 4, 1974. Right?

(Also not officially on tap, but sure to be seen: Free views of drunken panhandlers taking advantage of the deal; Free views of vomit spewed far and wide from the bathrooms to the sidewalk; Free bloody foreheads; Not free protection from the police.)

Arcadia Imperial Stout

Arcadia Imperial Stout
Arcadia Brewing Co.
Battle Creek, Michigan

Hi, I don't care about this review so I'm going to wing it with even less forethought than normal. Remember back in the day when you were congested and mom would put you at the sink with a towel covering your head and the hot water on low so as to create steam and loosen up your blockage? Yes, and then she'd rub some Vick's on your chest and you'd feel like all of the clogged membranes were opening up as if a spring thaw had struck the perma-frosted dried up and caked phlegm in your nasal cavities. This is like that but on your throat and lungs. A spray can of dark whip cream lit with a blow torch until your marshmallow tongue is slightly charred but not burnt to a crisp. Suck on a cold raisin, frisbee boy, and call in the dogs early because after a few of these you're going to bump into everything including your shadow while shuffling through the tight confines of your dark ass kаза́ки́ living room, Sergei. Chtob vse byli zdorovy!

-Wörtwurst

High Rollers Wheat Beer

High Rollers Wheat Beer
Anderson Valley Brewing Co.
Mendocino County, California

As my beer pictures get worse and worse I think it's high time that I started heaping other forms of wisdom upon you sots than visual stimuli. Here's some thought food: eat cheese curls. No, don't go with that intellectual vagabond Chester Cheeto because he's already sold his soul for a marquee gig. This humble rat on a bag of independent "puffs" is all you need. I learned long ago that the cheaper the cheese curls were the better they tasted. My chemically induced diet demands it of me.

So this beer tastes like an English ale. Ale as in golden hobgoblin scarecrow kind of ale and not an ESB by that London based standard which escapes me presently but is on the tip of my tongue! A caramel apple cidery kind of mild mild bitter. More or less a faceless pale wheat ale. That's kind of redundant isn't it since all pale ales are pretty goddamn boring.

-Wörtwurst

Heavy Seas "Hang Ten" Weizen Dopplebock

Heavy Seas "Hang Ten" Weizen Dopplebock
Clipper City Brewing Co.
Baltimore, Maryland

I guess I wasn't thinking when I picked a pint glass for this one but I have a feeling that I could have drunk this from a seashell and it still would have smashed a happy hole into my chest cavity. Man, this is good. From the reviews on BA you'd think this was glandular leper juice but I'm telling you my brothers of the gambrinous trade it's one potent and complex brew. The unfiltered flakes o' yeast give off an almost sour-sweet Belgian candy affect while the wheat is unmistakably hefeweizen wheat bread and many-tentacled fruits with a nutty malty spike and minute bitterness. It's literally like drinking a table wine like blend of beers. The 10% alcohol lingers on the tongue with a finishing rub that says, "Every motherfucker deserves a good meal and drink at least once a day." I've had mine. Now bring on the dancing girls and the celebratorial rag.

-Wörtwurst

Man Wearing Beer Box Robs Convenience Store

LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) — Police in Nebraska are looking a man who stole cigarettes while disguising himself with a beer carton on his head. Lincoln police Capt. Bob Kawamoto said the man walked into a Kwik Shop convenience store before dawn Monday wearing an empty Bud Light box on his head as a mask.

Kawamoto said the man also had wrapped something around one of his hands, suggesting he was armed. But the man never showed a weapon.

Police said the bandit left with nine packs of smokes valued at nearly $50.

Police spokeswoman Katie Flood said Tuesday morning that the robbery was captured on video. She said the man also dropped the empty 12-pack box as he fled, and it will be checked for fingerprints.

Information from: Lincoln Journal Star

Copyright © 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.
Copyright 2009 The E.W. Scripps Co. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Summit Maibock

Summit Maibock
Summit Brewing Co.
St. Paul, Minnesota

My bock your bock we all scream for maibo...yeah, sure we do. This stuff makes me think of fall despite the fact that it's a May beer and announces the coming of spring. But spring means birds and grass and sunshine and my little girl saying "Bwoods, duh-dee" and chasing the red red robin across the field only to watch it fly away. She stands and looks at me as if to say, "Where/why did it go?" There's no answer to this life my little one. It's all in the questions and where you proceed from there. Ask the pertinent questions and realize that answers are inconsequential in the grander scope of things. So what is this beer? Malt, brunt grassy herbs, caramel and candy essence, bread, water, bread, breathy alcohol, gassy foam and bread. Always more bread. Brick cheese and Doritos are purely optional but highly recommended by the man who knows not about life, spirits or matter.

-Wörtwurst

Spotted Cow Ale

Spotted Cow Ale
New Glarus Brewing Co.
New Glarus, Wisconsin

A lot of you creeps have a friend in the furniture business and/or as well as in Jesus but not many of you have a fur-faced grizzled old prick of a pal living in the northerly climes of Milwaukee. Beardsley Rummel the Younger, a transplanted lower mitten heathen living in the Yooper Annex of farm girls and barn-yarn breathed scallywags brought me a six pack of this whisker licker on his sojourn home. Of course it sat in his car trunk like a frozen tuney-feesh sammich through thaw and thermal weather but the yeasty and herbal essence seem quite intact. "The little lady drinks this stuff" he tells me, "so I'm sure it's decent." So sayeth the fool in love! How can you trust a man with a mustache I think to myself and then proceed to tip this bronze brew down my gullet shirking off all questions of metaphysics and feta misfits. Here's what we've got folks: a full melon of hair sans back lettuce, trifling malt, a sucker's succor of sucrose, blond trellis, fruity ganglia, cream cheese garflingus and one squeeze of a teet at Christmas just in time for the fat man who cometh in red down the stony pipe. It's May twenty-tooth in the year of our Ox(cow) and I am the starched mascot for all of you cougar-chasers of the world. Drink up Pepe and bring your better cheddar because this fat bastard is having seconds.

-Wörtwurst

BUCKBEAN WANTS YOU

I received an e-mail from Constance Aguilar at Buckbean Brewery--as I'm sure some of you other beer bloggers have as well--and wanted to pass it along to those who would like to sample and review their products. One catch: you'll either have to contact me for her e-mail address or them through their site as I don't want to publish her e-mail without permission. Here you go:


Greetings bloggers!

Reno's Buckbean Brewing Company has a busy summer lined up, which you can see in the press release below. Buckbean has also recently announced their partnership with 7th Wave Productions, the producers of the Big Blue Adventure Racing Series. This partnership ties the ultimate outdoor activities with the ultimate outdoor beverage.

We are offering our beer blogging pals an exclusive chance to sample our Tule Duck Red Ale, which we will can specifically for all of you. Just reply to the email with your name address and phone # (we do not keep them on file so no one is ever tempted to bug you).

Thanks for your time!

Constance Aguilar

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BUCKBEAN BREWING COMPANY GEARS UP FOR A SUMMER OF EVENTS, ADVENTURE RACING AND FESTIVALS GALORE


Reno, NV (May 4, 2009) --Reno’s only package microbrewery, Buckbean Brewing Company, is gearing up for the summer with a calendar packed full of events sure to please anyone with a love for beer, the outdoors and community.

To kick-off the season, Buckbean announced its partnership with the Big Blue Adventure Racing Series, the largest adventure racing competition on the West coast produced by the well-known adventure racing company 7th Wave Productions. The two entities will travel the West Coast together and provide canned beer for competitors at all 7th Wave Production events, including all Big Blue Adventure Series races. They will be co-promoting each other’s events as well as working on additional partnerships throughout the year.

“We believe it’s a perfect match for our northern California expansion as adventure racing and canned beer are a good fit,” said Buckbean co-owner Douglas Booth.
Buckbean will kick-off the summer in Davis, Cali., May 30, for the 5th annual Citizens Who Care Beerfest. This event, which attracted more than 400 patrons last year, benefits the needs of senior citizens in the regional Northern California area. Buckbean joins more than 30 regional breweries for this year’s event, complete with food, live music and a raffle.

The following summer months are packed with festivals, beginning in June with the 4th Annual Truckee Optimist Brew Fest, Saturday, June 13. About 20 breweries and cider distributors will be represented, paired with live music, food, a silent auction and more. All proceeds support Truckee youth programs and scholarships.
June 27-28, Buckbean will participate in the Great Eldorado BBQ, Brews and Blues Festival for the second year in a row. The festival, which takes over North Virginia Street, kicks off the downtown summer festival line-up, and will feature BBQ food hot off the outdoor charbroil grill, live entertainment and microbreweries from around the world.

Finally, Buckbean will travel to Placerville for the Bell Tower Brew Fest, June 27, featuring more than 30 different microbrews and free entertainment.
July 31, Aug 1-2, Buckbean will head down to Mammoth Lakes, California for the 14th Annual Mammoth Festival of Beers & Bluesapalooza. Set in the pristine mountain area adjacent to Yosemite National Park, the three-day weekend will showcase 70 of the best microbreweries in the country and feature top blues performers.
In the tradition of last year, Buckbean will also be at the Battle Born Derby Demons home games, May 30, June 27, July 11, Aug. 22 and Sept. 26, for some girl-on-girl roller skating action in the heart of downtown Reno.
Other great events and festivals you can lookout for Buckbean in:

· June 6: Night That Never Ends festival in Monterey, Cali., featuring beers from around the world and live tribute bands.

· July 11: Beerfest Live Bluegrass & Beer Tasting Festival inside the Northstar-at-Tahoe resort

· Oct. 13: Mountain Harvest Festival in Quincy, Cali., featuring samplings from award-winning Western US Micro brew pubs, world-class Music, Hot Air Balloon Rally, great items for Silent Auction, family fun and an organic and domestic wine tasting.

For more information on these events, please visit www.buckbeanbeer.com or call 775-857-4444.

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About Buckbean Brewing Company


Buckbean Brewing Company was founded in 2007 by Reno native Douglas S. Booth and veteran brewmaster Daniel B. Kahn. The brewery is located in Reno, NV and currently distributes Original Orange Blossom Ale and Black Noddy Lager. The brewery offers free tastings, tours and is available for private functions. For more information please visit www.buckbeanbeer.com or call 775-857-4444. The brewery is located at 1155 S. Rock Blvd, Suite 490 Reno, NV 89502 and is open Tuesday to Thursday from 11 AM to 6 PM and Friday & Saturday from11 AM to 7 PM.

Berghoff Sundown Dark Beer

Berghoff Sundown Dark Beer
Berghoff Brewery
Monroe, Wisconsin

The taste of this purportedly dark "beer" is harder to get off my tongue than "Sundown" by Gordon Lightfoot is now that the moniker has put it into my brain. That song was about a dark druggie groupie whore that G.L. had an affair with. She was also the chick who shot John Belushi up with heroin the day he died. If that's not depressing enough then drink one of these blase darks. It's basically lager, burnt toast essence diluted into a mild fluid and malt made from soft serve ice milk. Yeah, it's that ordinary. At least some of the brewery's history is semi-interesting:

"Some traditions have died hard at the Berghoff. Long after most restaurants ended the practice, the Berghoff maintained a separate men-only bar. The segregation ended in 1969, when seven members of the National Organization for Women sat at the bar and demanded service. Not long after, feminist Gloria Steinem came in for a much-publicized drink."

Otherwise it's mostly a sucks donut for this one.

-Wörtwurst

Berghoff Rock River Red Ale

Berghoff Rock River Red Ale
Berghoff Brewery
Monroe, Wisconsin

This reddo seemingly wants to vacillate between various styles: macro lager, a weak kolsch, a likewise thin amber/blonde (take your pick) and a J. W. Dundee Original Honey Brown Lager. Yeah, I think it's really the Dundee whack and whistle bee hive vagina ale disguised as a Krauty maltburger from the hinterlands of Wisconsinland. I won't really complain much for $1.20 + deposit (yeah, we have a 10c deposit here: best law Michigan ever enacted.) though. I drunk it down rather briskly and only slowed to write this moribund anti-diatribe on a beer more blase than our Kenyan Nationalist, Zbigniew-addled, Molech-enriched Barry Soetoro's speeches.

-Wörtwurst