Hair of the Dog Rose Belgian Tripel Style Ale

Hair of the Dog Rose Belgian Tripel Style Ale
Hair of the Dog Brewing Co.
Portland, OR

Another selection from the Beer Raconteur and Molester, Jay Hinman XIII, the last man standing in the river holding his bread and barley and a failed bottle of broth and crying, "Oh why me God!, Why me?!?!"

What goes better with a glazed donut and Cephalexin at noon thirteen than some tripel? The foggy sugary halo above my head says in rhyming couplets, "nothing more/beer whore/nothing less/albatross/nothing gained/from barley and grains/than a head of suds/and a whacked pud." Ah- well, poetry is a second nature to my crucifying martyr self. First nature is good-bad luck. I happened upon this fine glassware at a local Salvation Army for 99c and that's good-good luck. I happened upon Jaywana Hinmanskisloven by way of the internets and that's just pure dumb luck methinks. But this burnt sugar confection makes my fingers fly across the keyboard like shit-eating pigs and that's a bonus for a man heavily involved with the bacon of the world. What else? Typical Belgian sweetness and frothing, fingering yeast that molests your tastebuds into a happy chasm of indentured swervitude. Yeah, I'm feeling all 7.5% of this one and and and the antibodies are working inside my blood capillaries and there isn't a goddamn thing you can do about it now can you beer snobs or Christ or the afforementioned burnt sugar but kiss the fucking rim of the glass and thank your happy stars that you are alive in the midst of fine wine and choas. Puuuwah!

-Wörtwurst

Tommyknocker Alpine Glacier Lager

Tommyknocker Alpine Glacier Lager
Tommyknocker Brewery
Idaho Springs, Colorado

The second selection from a mixed six pack from the Tommyknocker Brewery (Brewpub).

There's equal parts macro and micro lager here but also an element of a kolsch that teeters it into the win column with me. Just barely though. The kolsch sweetness and full malt taste are plus features in an otherwise average selection from a rather average brewer, Still, one of the better beers of the mixed six.

-Wörtwurst

Tommyknocker Maple Nut Brown Ale

Tommyknocker Maple Nut Brown Ale
Tommyknocker Brewery
Idaho Springs, Colorado

The first selection in a mixed six pack from the Tommyknocker Brewery (Brewpub).

Butter your hot cakes A. Jemima and M. Buttersworth because breakfast is served. Pour the coffee hot because you will not go unscathed drinking this pseudo breakfast of champions. Lite syrup, lower strata nuttiness and malt up the ying-ying. I'd say it's related to Brooklyn's Brown but sans its dark essence and overall hearty soupiness. Plus the bottle says cartoon all over it and that doesn't sit well with me. A hearty drink without the heavy weight.

-Wörtwurst

Port Brewing Santa's Little Helper Imperial Stout

Port Brewing Santa's Little Helper Imperial Stout
Port Brewing Co.
San Marcos, CA



The last hurrah for Molly here. Hear ye hear ye. She's a winner. Molly ain't so bad herself.

Nothing like a little pre-summer wild depression to make you think of the holiday suicides past and present. Drink it down with some bottled hard pudding say the spirits and I oblige their wisdom with a little of my own. Sweet cocoa, figgy pudding, burnt molasses and elf detritus make this a barrel chested savior of sorts. Fill the stocking up and capture that corpulent white-bearded roly-poly fat bastard and hold him hostage in your fridge until you're ready for Christmas and then let loose this sleigh kicking stew. Bravo! 14 stars.

-Wörtwurst

Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat

Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat
Jacob Leinenkugel Brewing Co.
Chippewa Falls, WI



I don't like summer and I especially don't like the sun. Hell, I don't like much of anything when I think about it. You can add beer to that list. But we have to drink something and in this rancid June heat nothing cools a scorcher quite like this lemon wheat. It smells like a mild pine cleaner with an eye-wink of lemon that is neither tangy or tart but sits on your tongue like that last taste of a good thing. Leave the sex comments at the door here because this a house of religion and pine, hear ye? You could pay a few dollars extra and get the Samuel Adams Summer Ale but there's really no reason to when you can have this tongue wagger for less than a buck o' bottle with no loss of quality or quantity.

-Wörtwurst

Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy

Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy
Jacob Leinenkugel Brewing Co.
Chippewa Falls, WI



There's a gimmick to be found around every corner. This is no alien ideal to the beer industry thus we have all the turbo hopped micro monsters and the flavorful "girl beers" as the hard-asses of the world call them. I happen to like the flavorful girl beers more times than not and so an extreme or off-kilter brew is not anathema to me. There, I said it: ANATHEMA, I'm officially a blog nerd. This summer induced seasonal crowns itself as a weiss beer with lemonade and sure enough that's what it is. Not to say it's a Mike's Hard Lemonade or something like that but it definitely had those overtones. But mostly it's a weak wheaty with a smidge of lemonade to add a soft twang to the pale elixir. Not bad at all really.

-Wörtwurst

Pabst Blue Ribbon

Pabst Blue Ribbon
Pabst Brewing Co.
Milwaukee, WI



This isn't the review I want to be doing right now but that's how it works with me. If you knew all of the OCD qualities (picture light, beer mug choice, metaphysical standing, etc.) that went into one review you'd be shocked that I ever managed to do almost one a day for nearly a year. That would have continued without other life-altering events coming into play. Bah. We all have sob stories right? Right. This isn't so much a sob story as it is a staple beer on tap in le fridge. Well, this is an easy drinker and doesn't taste like Budweiser so I'm all for it. Would I rather be drinking a Leinenkugel or a Boont Amber or a Great Lakes Dortmunder Gold instead, why of course. But the goal here is to drink a variety and to give you an eyeful. Seeing as I don't have a curvacious body and can't strip down for sexy picture shoots a roughneck beer will have to suffice. This one is had on the cheap and with a decent enough punch to send you to the outer edges of the promise land. No, you can't always go to the balmy brinks of bliss you hedonististic lushes.

-Wörtwurst

Deschutes Black Butte Porter

Deschutes Black Butte Porter
Deschutes Brewery
Bend, OR



The third brew hammer in a trade with the Bay Area Bomber. A man so immersed in beer culture that his liver has a twist off cap on it.

Shall we resurrect Bert Grant? With this one we certainly do even though I'm not really sure what he has to do with this beer. Maybe he has plenty to do with it and I said it because his ghost frequents well-travelled bottles of beer and speaks through me like a Ouija board. Anyhow, beer sows, you can souse or douse yourself with this until you make a bad people ale of it. Otherwise it's top notch pine tar and molasses black beer. Really, the sign of a good porter is that it tastes as much like a stout as it does a porter. This does, So should you.

-Wörtwurst