Kennebunkport India Pale Ale

Kennebunkport India Pale Ale
Kennebunkport Brewing Co.
Portland, ME

A gift sixer from good old Trader Joe Inc. $5.99 a mixed six pack.

This stuff is Sea Dog Brewing Co. and I don't care! And as much as I don't care for IPAs the ones that aren't overly hop-chocked make ready friends and are rather tasty despite the prescence of beer testes. The caramel whispers and sings and lulls you into sleepy platitudes and plateaus of bliss. Grind in a rind hind of justified citrus and we can call this an entry level into proffesional beer drinking.

Kennebunkport Pumpkin Ale

Kennebunkport Pumpkin Ale
Kennebunkport Brewing Co.
Portland, ME

A gift sixer from good old Trader Joe Inc. $5.99 a mixed six pack.

Well...after trying to guess the weight of the T. J. branded monster pumpkin (I guessed 147 pounds) raffle I descended upon the beer aisle to get my pick. I was surprised to see 4 new beers that I had never come across at the au natural grocer. For some reason this stuff reminds me a lot of Sea Dog Brewing Co. and the bottles even give off that feel. It could or couldn't be true but I am too lazy right now to investigate so that's that.

So I've used every bromide and all the oft-repeated tales of horror and Halloweenie beers macabe and otherwise and now will go straight with these beer reviews henceforth. One fang of goblin sugars, two pumpkin gizzards, three heavy freckles of werewolf dander and the malty extract of one long-ago deceased mummified princess comprise this hallow brew. I can't say that it's a great beer but it's good enough that I lick my whiskers and smile just like my cheshire cousin (you guess the lyrics and songster.).

ANOTHER BEER BLOG!!!

And then there's Buttle's Beer Blog. Yeah, he's one of us guzzle, post and puke guys. A true fezziwig and champion of exploiting his fancy beer tastes! Long live the beer blog. Even I feel ridiculous saying that. List him, love him, plug him, post him. It's your choice but I recommend that you at least take a look so that he doesn't cry! These damned sensitive beer types.

Beer Blogs

As per usual the pumpkin season brings out the beer crazies. Through commentary I have been apprised of two previously unseen Beer Blogs: Brew Dudes and Beer Bits 2 which you need to take a look at. They seem to be more about brewing than the general guzzling and commenting ilk, such as myself, so you might actually learn something of lasting value from them. Add them to your blogroll too you stingy bastards.

Southern Tier Imperial Pumking Pumpkin Ale

Southern Tier Imperial Pumking Pumpkin Ale
Southern Tier Brewing Company
Lakewood, New York

I'm not sure what kind of pumpkin pie the people on BA eat but I've never had one that tasted quite like this. Then again, with the high alcohol content and my teetoling ways, I don't even know where the hell I am right now. Highly oatish and graham crackery. Weak on the pumpkin spices though cinnamon is shot out of a citrus cannon right into the tongue. For such a pathetically light colored beer this one is as thick as cream as far as taste goes. Let me put some goddamn whipped cream on this thing and get back to you. Back. Holy collosal Christ I am shit-canned by this witch's brew! The whipped cream doesn't save it but this is about the best I've had as far as pumpkin ales go. The price is ghastly though and Southern Tier should be ashamed for taking advantage of all you pushed around beer geeks. That's right...stir the Cool Whip in with your fingers and this thing is a dessert backing your ass into a soda shop for good. You ain't leaving and Peter Pumpkinhead ain't ever coming to save you.

-Wörtwurst

Arcadia Jaw Jacker Pumpkin Ale

Arcadia Jaw Jacker Pumpkin Ale
Arcadia Brewing Company
Battle Creek, Michigan

Any real beer discussion for me starts with "Budweiser is the worst beer on Earth" and ends there as well. I don't philosophize about beer and neither should you. I drink it once in a while and unfortunately for the serious beer drinker, I also comment about it.

Any pumpkin beer discussion for me starts with "What the F%#^ is pumpkin beer." It's made with embryos OK? Then I move on to imbibing. I think pumpkin beers go largely unnoticed because they aren't very well put together. At least no more well-crafted than the average micro macro staple. Sure, a few have the typical trio of spices but beyond that there is only excitement in the mind of those who put it there. I'm one of them. The idea of a great pumpkin beer is there for me in abstract form but I've never had one (though I hear that the one I'll be trying tomorrow or the next day [I have to conserve nowadays!]) that knocked me over. This one is pretty typical of the style: the afforementioned spices (nutmeg, cinnamon, all-spice), malt and a light wafer finish. I'd rank it near the middle though it does have a meddlesome barf affect to it at times. Overall, the spices are equally distributed and the malt is decent but something is missing. When I figure it out I'll be down in the basement brewing up a kettle.

-Wörtwurst