Farsons Lacto Milk Stout

Farsons Lacto Milk Stout
Simonds Farsons Cisk Plc.
Malta

On Beer Assholevocate people seem a little predisposed towards the "CARAMEL COLOR ADDED" part of this beer and not so much on the maltese falcon aspect. Granted, I don't know the plot of that said book and couldn't put a pin on Malta in a map of the world even if I were forced to, but I can definitely put one over on a bunch of dreg drinkers like you. The other thing that sticks out like a sore phlange on this bottle is the 18 pic capitalization of LACTO on the stamp. This sounds like a digestive issue waiting to happen doesn't it? Just you shut your mouth, naysayer! Milk stouts are a bizarre creature. Sure, you expect the creaminess but how about some smokey and fruity malt with yeasty tendrils? That you didn't bargain for did you bojangles? No, you did not. Well, if this is milk then it's 1/2% (as it's quite light for a stout) and may just contain the blood, pus and steroids that animal rights activists have warned you about for years in concern to your moo juice. The problem here is that this tastes like a wino's version of a dark chocolate covered rum cherry, if it were liquified. If nothing else, at least one of your bodily holes will go to sleep with a smile and not a pucker.

- Wörtwurst