Old Style

Old Style Lager
G. Heilman Brewery.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Just like with war all cultural battles are won by those with the most pocket change to throw about frivolously on non-essentials. Well, as far as adult beverages go the idiot followers of the craft beer movement have plundered and pillaged the ranks until only their kind can be called king. So you get $25 bombers full of hops, sugar plums and the pipe dream tapioca of every idiot's medulla oblongata gone to mush put inside a bottle and sold to the highest bidder.

I won't lie and say that this is a better beer than a Trois Pistoles but I will say that if you drink a sixer of this stuff as opposed to a non-stop torrent of craft fare just so that you can write a blog you are truly a buffoon. If you go to a christening of a beer and pay money to get into an establishment and eat a leg o' lamb alongside a beer made by a guy with a soul patch who slaps a fancy label on his hobby gone viral then you might just be a buffoon as well.

Seriously, get a grip. Drink a fucking beer, jot down your thoughts and then go on with your life. Hell, if you told me that you were performing sexual acrobatics with a growler on two strippers then I might think you are some kind of world beater but I've seen the likes of you people and most of you are, more or less, glorified alcoholics with no pause button in reach of your proclivities. It's just a beer and this one will not make your pecker bigger or your tongue stand in salute but it will quench your thirst and fill your toilet with a straw colored rainbow just like any other glow in the dark secret special recipe from the Gods of nectar. Drink up and STFU.

-Wörtwurst