Monday, April 07, 2008

Beer Rant



Nah, I'm not going to castigate beer, bloggers of beer, companies, CEOs, lawyers, magistrates, teetotalers -- even though I probably should -- but rather just plug a man with a plan to rant about beer. Plug a man? That ain't right. Nonetheless, from perusing the blog it seems he is more likely to pass along some valuable info and a few humorous or interesting tidbits (beer can archeology!) than anything else. Plus he occasionally springs a half-naked or naked woman on you and you can't fault a man for that (unless it's your sister! or GOD forbid your daughter; cringe cringe cringe). Give him a look. It can't make your eyes hurt anymore than this here schlockumentary of a site.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Sample the beer before you buy it

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Associated Press

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Miller Lite Wheat Ale



Miller Lite Wheat Ale
Miller Brewing Co.
Milwaukee, WI

Is this even an ale? Unlike the Blonde Ale which had a little body this one is rather thin and delicate. Despite it's citrus nose it doesn't come fully through in the taste. That's not to say that it has no taste, because it does, it's just a bit faint and hardly defined. There is also a slight malt body but it comes mostly in the aftertaste and hardly affects the general taste. Which takes me back to the original question: is this even an ale? To me it tastes more like a flavored lager trying to be an ale. But that's the whole point here isn't it? A lite beer with more character than the general macro piss-water. It does accomplish that and is an easy drinker. Make no mistake though this is a lite beer. In fact it's so light that the only evidence that I ever drank a beer is a minimal carbonation trail at the bottom of the glass. Seriously, otherwise you couldn't tell if I had drunk a glass of water or a beer. I'm not so sure that's a good thing. A so-so beer. A better than average light beverage.

- Wörtwurst

Monday, February 11, 2008

Miller Lite Blonde Ale





Miller Lite Blonde Ale
Miller Brewing Co.
Milwaukee, WI

Most of you aren't Miller Lite, Miller or macro fans whatsoever, but I don't really care what a beer is or who makes it so long as it tastes good. As far as lagers go, Miller is one of my favorite macros. That's not to say that I drink it regularly (or drink regularly at all) but I've never disliked Miller while hating Bud, Molson, Labatt and most other lagers with a passion. That said, I don't think I've had a Miller Lite but once in my drinking memoirs and I can't remember a damn thing about it. So I'll go tabla rasa on you beermen and tell you what I think. This ain't bad! Their literature lists Bass as this beer's similar and though I disagree, I don't find this to be a subpar drink in comparison to the aptly named Bass. Also according to the literature this has half the carbs and about 1/3 the calories. Even though that's not a concern to me when picking out a beer it is a viable consideration when determining taste values. This is an excellent light beer. Slightly hopped, enough malt to make a pinstache on your decadent micro lip and enough punch to make your nads spark the testosterone flintstone. Is it Arbor Brewing's Brasserie Blonde Belgian Ale? No. Is it trying to be? No. Is it better than Edison Light, Bud Light or the ever-rancid Coors light? Yes ma'am, sir! This is easily as tasty as one of the better lower tier blondies but less filling and tastes GRRRRE...err good. Great would be a step too far but not so far that you can't see the macro for the rice field. I approve of this LITE beer and I can't really say that for others of its ilk.

- Wörtwurst

The Miller Lite Brewers Collection

A few weeks back I was e-mailed by a Miller Brewing Company rep who wanted to know if I was up for sampling their limited release specialty line of Miller Lite beers, or more specifically the Miller Lite Brewers Collection. I responded with an expectant affirmative and thought about it for a week and then figured that they were like other breweries that offered up free beer and then never came through. Well, today in the mail came the box of six beers, 2 each of their blonde, wheat and amber selections. I have to admit that I was pretty excited. Especially since I haven't drunk a beer since last year when I was enjoying some traded for Deschutes and Brooklyn Chocolate Stout and started coming down with powerful headaches every time I imbibed. Yeah yeah, I know, keep yourself hydrated and I was but to no avail. Anyhow, this is about the new collection which will be tested in several markets including Baltimore, Charlotte, Minneapolis and San Diego. Which leaves me out and most likely you as well. Lucky for me I have some and I'll pass along the results as I try each one.

Here's the accompanying literature with facts and comparisons:

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Sunday, December 02, 2007

Deschutes Obsidian Stout






Deschutes Obsidian Stout
Deschutes Brewery
Bend, OR

I know that it's hard to believe that somebody who semi-regularly maintains a beer-tasting website is not much of a drinker, but I'm not. In fact I'm in a stretch when I am forcing myself to drink the kind trade-gift from the featured brewer. I seem to have lost my taste for the stuff. Anyhow, the Obsidian Stout from Deschutes makes me remember what it is about beer that I like best: the darker the better. I'm a stouter and this one meets the minimum requirements and then some. I won't rank it with my top favorites: Hitachino Sweet Stout, Jolly Pumpkin Madrugada Obscura and Tres Blueberry Stout, but I'd rank it in that upper tier of straight stouts. A perfect blend of hops, dark malts and a pinch of sweetness which isn't unlike what we're all looking for on a daily basis from life.

- Wörtwurst

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Holiday Cheers from and to Deschutes Brewery from Wörtwurst Inc.

SOMETIMES THIS:


EQUALS THIS:




Yessir! I was contacted a week or two ago by one of the good people (I won't mention the name just in case said person doesn't want 87 other offers for beer cap trades) at Deschutes Brewery in Bend, OR (which is about 150 miles from where my mother was born in Dallas, OR) about a possible caps for brews trade. Of course I said yes but it wasn't easy handing over some of my caps despite having doubles of some of them. Bah! But I had no choice. The powers of free beer convinced me that it was in the best interest of all parties that I surrender the caps for sweet grains and mountain waters. So I did. The leather beer coasters and the shiny spanking new bottle opener didn't spoil the deal whatsoever! Yes, the Black Butte Porter still comes equipped with its stouty little angels of glee. Prost!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Chocolate began as beer-like brew 3,100 years ago

By Will Dunham Mon Nov 12, 6:26 PM ET

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The chocolate enjoyed around the world today had its origins at least 3,100 years ago in Central America not as the sweet treat people now crave but as a celebratory beer-like beverage and status symbol, scientists said on Monday.

Researchers identified residue of a chemical compound that comes exclusively from the cacao plant -- the source of chocolate -- in pottery vessels dating from about 1100 BC in Puerto Escondido, Honduras.

This pushed back by at least 500 years the earliest documented use of cacao, an important luxury commodity in Mesoamerica before European invaders arrived and now the basis of the modern chocolate industry.

Cacao (pronounced cah-COW) seeds were used to make ceremonial beverages consumed by elites of the Aztecs and other civilizations, while also being used as a form of currency.

The Spanish conquistadors who shattered the Aztec empire in the 16th century were smitten with a chocolate beverage made from cacao seeds served in the palace of the emperor. However, this was not the form in which cacao had its beginnings.

"The earliest cacao beverages consumed at Puerto Escondido were likely produced by fermenting the sweet pulp surrounding the seeds," the scientists wrote in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

One of the researchers, anthropologist John Henderson of Cornell University in Ithaca, New York, said cacao beverages were being concocted far earlier than previously believed -- and it was a beer-like drink that started the chocolate craze.

"What we're seeing in this early village is a very early stage in which serving cacao at fancy occasions is one of the strategies that upwardly mobile families are using to establish themselves, to accumulate social prestige," Henderson said in a telephone interview.

"I think this is part of the process by which you eventually get stratified societies," Henderson said.

The cacao brew consumed at the village of perhaps 200 to 300 people may have evolved into the chocolate beverage known from later in Mesoamerican history not by design but as "an accidental byproduct of some brewing," Henderson said.

The chocolate enjoyed by later Mesoamerican civilizations like the Maya and Aztecs was made from ground cacao seeds with added seasonings, producing a spicy, frothy drink.

The Spanish brought cacao back to Europe in the 16th century. Many innovations occurred in the ensuing centuries, including the advent of solid chocolate treats.

The scientists used chemical analysis of residues extracted from pottery vessels from the Honduran site to determine that cacao had been used.

The style of the 10 small, elegant serving vessels suggests the cacao brew was served at important ceremonies perhaps to celebrate weddings and births, the scientists said.

Henderson said the first use of cacao may be earlier still by perhaps a couple of centuries. He said the scientists intend to test earlier pottery from the region for chemical proof.

(Editing by Julie Steenhuysen and Bill Trott)

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Blue Moon Full Moon Winter Ale






Blue Moon Full Moon Winter Ale
Blue Moon Brewing Co.
Toronto, Canada

I think it might be a bit of a stretch to call an underrefined ale such as this an Abbey Ale but it is a decent one nonetheless. It's a pretty good example of a sane and mass produced winter seasonal as well. Nothing over the top, affordable and an easy drinker. The first bottle I had tasted much richer, darker and more complex than the second but that is most likely due to the fact that I was gorging myself with a Cadbury Fruit & Nut bar. Otherwise, the caramelization of the Belgian sugars and the roasted malts are nicely blended into a warming sweet brew that is holly enough and jolly enough to tingle your jing jing jingley bells.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Kennebunkport India Pale Ale






Kennebunkport India Pale Ale
Kennebunkport Brewing Co.
Portland, ME

A gift sixer from good old Trader Joe Inc. $5.99 a mixed six pack.

This stuff is Sea Dog Brewing Co. and I don't care! And as much as I don't care for IPAs the ones that aren't overly hop-chocked make ready friends and are rather tasty despite the prescence of beer testes. The caramel whispers and sings and lulls you into sleepy platitudes and plateaus of bliss. Grind in a rind hind of justified citrus and we can call this an entry level into proffesional beer drinking.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Kennebunkport Pumpkin Ale



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Kennebunkport Pumpkin Ale
Kennebunkport Brewing Co.
Portland, ME

A gift sixer from good old Trader Joe Inc. $5.99 a mixed six pack.

Well...after trying to guess the weight of the T. J. branded monster pumpkin (I guessed 147 pounds) raffle I descended upon the beer aisle to get my pick. I was surprised to see 4 new beers that I had never come across at the au natural grocer. For some reason this stuff reminds me a lot of Sea Dog Brewing Co. and the bottles even give off that feel. It could or couldn't be true but I am too lazy right now to investigate so that's that.

So I've used every bromide and all the oft-repeated tales of horror and Halloweenie beers macabe and otherwise and now will go straight with these beer reviews henceforth. One fang of goblin sugars, two pumpkin gizzards, three heavy freckles of werewolf dander and the malty extract of one long-ago deceased mummified princess comprise this hallow brew. I can't say that it's a great beer but it's good enough that I lick my whiskers and smile just like my cheshire cousin (you guess the lyrics and songster.).

Thursday, October 11, 2007

ANOTHER BEER BLOG!!!


And then there's Buttle's Beer Blog. Yeah, he's one of us guzzle, post and puke guys. A true fezziwig and champion of exploiting his fancy beer tastes! Long live the beer blog. Even I feel ridiculous saying that. List him, love him, plug him, post him. It's your choice but I recommend that you at least take a look so that he doesn't cry! These damned sensitive beer types.

Beer Blogs


As per usual the pumpkin season brings out the beer crazies. Through commentary I have been apprised of two previously unseen Beer Blogs: Brew Dudes and Beer Bits 2 which you need to take a look at. They seem to be more about brewing than the general guzzling and commenting ilk, such as myself, so you might actually learn something of lasting value from them. Add them to your blogroll too you stingy bastards.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Southern Tier Imperial Pumking Pumpkin Ale





Southern Tier Imperial Pumking Pumpkin Ale
Southern Tier Brewing Company
Lakewood, New York

I'm not sure what kind of pumpkin pie the people on BA eat but I've never had one that tasted quite like this. Then again, with the high alcohol content and my teetoling ways, I don't even know where the hell I am right now. Highly oatish and graham crackery. Weak on the pumpkin spices though cinnamon is shot out of a citrus cannon right into the tongue. For such a pathetically light colored beer this one is as thick as cream as far as taste goes. Let me put some goddamn whipped cream on this thing and get back to you. Back. Holy collosal Christ I am shit-canned by this witch's brew! The whipped cream doesn't save it but this is about the best I've had as far as pumpkin ales go. The price is ghastly though and Southern Tier should be ashamed for taking advantage of all you pushed around beer geeks. That's right...stir the Cool Whip in with your fingers and this thing is a dessert backing your ass into a soda shop for good. You ain't leaving and Peter Pumpkinhead ain't ever coming to save you.

-Wörtwurst

Monday, October 08, 2007

Arcadia Jaw Jacker Pumpkin Ale



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Arcadia Jaw Jacker Pumpkin Ale
Arcadia Brewing Company
Battle Creek, Michigan

Any real beer discussion for me starts with "Budweiser is the worst beer on Earth" and ends there as well. I don't philosophize about beer and neither should you. I drink it once in a while and unfortunately for the serious beer drinker, I also comment about it.

Any pumpkin beer discussion for me starts with "What the F%#^ is pumpkin beer." It's made with embryos OK? Then I move on to imbibing. I think pumpkin beers go largely unnoticed because they aren't very well put together. At least no more well-crafted than the average micro macro staple. Sure, a few have the typical trio of spices but beyond that there is only excitement in the mind of those who put it there. I'm one of them. The idea of a great pumpkin beer is there for me in abstract form but I've never had one (though I hear that the one I'll be trying tomorrow or the next day [I have to conserve nowadays!]) that knocked me over. This one is pretty typical of the style: the afforementioned spices (nutmeg, cinnamon, all-spice), malt and a light wafer finish. I'd rank it near the middle though it does have a meddlesome barf affect to it at times. Overall, the spices are equally distributed and the malt is decent but something is missing. When I figure it out I'll be down in the basement brewing up a kettle.

-Wörtwurst

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Arcadia Whitsun Ale



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Arcadia Whitsun Ale
Arcadia Brewing Co.
Battle Creek, MI

Freebie #6. Note: Again, I was too lazy to lift the glass so I free poured.

If only Bell's Oberon tasted this good! This is what I envision when I want a summer wheat beer and not some prickly porcupined citrus hop-twang that makes one make the lemon-suck face all the way to the portapotty. This even has a toasted malty caramel flavor to it that makes it robust enough to drink through the cool fall nights by a dimly-lit campfire while roasting wooly mammoth in the U. P. All right...this isn't a Normal Rockwell painting and I'm not one of the BA brothers doing a review in dirge form for the rubbed out masses: Good beer - the good times and good friends are purely optional.

-Wörtwurst

Monday, September 17, 2007

Tucher Helles Hefe Weizen



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Tucher Helles Hefe Weizen
Brauerei Tucher Brau
Nürnberg, Germany

Freebie #5. Note: I was too lazy to lift the glass so I free poured.

When I saw this on sale for $1.09 a 1 pint 1 fl. oz bottle I couldn't pass it up. Well, I could have but somebody else was paying and Peggy was working the counter so I felt obliged to make her work so I could look at her Christina Rici looking face and feel beery. Neither experience has disappointed so far. Where many hefes go off into a wheatified orgy of wheat, banana, cloves, more banana and even more banana and cloves this wheatus takes a more fruitish lagery sour fang in the face approach. The tang of citrus forms a perfect amalgamation with the wheat and other gentle spices and makes this about my favorite hefe, except for Hefe Jo Hefe the dancing girl.

-Wörtwurst